I haven't written in more than a month; as always, I've been busy finishing off exams for Year 12 and starting Year 13. The major thing that happened is that I got diagnosed with depression with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I'm now on anti-depressants. Which has vastly improved my life - although sometimes my sleeping pattern suffers, I've felt happier, and the flashbacks, as well as panic attacks have stopped. I have more energy during the day, and people have been commenting on my awesome change in mood. So that's one good thing. y
A lot of stuff has also happened in terms of boys. Now that the wild love stories about myself and GuyImetatparty have stopped circulating, it seems like a freaking queue had begun to formulate, as if I was a candidate on bachelorette. Let's call the first one Steven. Steven made it obvious he liked me from the word go, and my friend actually set us up on a blind date (with her and a few friends there too) to go and see The Purge at our local cinema. The problem, however, was that he's a year younger than me, and doesn't look old enough to see an R-rated movie. So originally they didn't let him in, but he managed to sneak in somehow. By which point I was sitting between two friends anyway, quite happily. He then tried to come onto me while playing hide and seek in the park, but I don't like him in that way. Over the last few months I haven't really wanted a boyfriend, so that's the problem with being forced onto some kind of bachelorette metaphor - what fun is it when she isn't even looking for a boyfriend? I've heard that Steven has been trying it on with other girls recently, so his apparent 'undying love' for me was obviously fake.
Then there's Peter, as I shall call him. Peter started talking to me about a month ago, but I could tell then that he was hinting that he wanted a relationship with me. I told him I didn't like anyone like that as I was still getting over guyImetatparty, and he didn't talk to me for a few weeks. We then started talking again a few weeks ago, and he told me how he too didn't want a relationship, and invited me round his house to play YuGiOh and have a few drinks. I knew something was wrong the moment he turned up wearing his best clothes and told me he only had spirits in the house - I don't drink spirits because I once drank too much Malibu and nearly had to go to hospital after passing out on my friend's bathroom floor. So we had some Jager and Tequila, and by this point both of us were very drunk. He then dared me to make out with him, which I did out of niceness more than anything (because he'd asked/dared me, who am I to say no? That gives off the impression that I wouldn't even kiss him). After that, he told me he had a crush on me and wanted me to go out with him. We then spent the rest of the time arguing about my not wanting a relationship before I eventually left a few hours later. Since then, he's lied to one of our mutual friends about what happened at his house, and hasn't spoken to me since, even though I've tried to start numerous conversations on Facebook, wanting us to go back to being friends as I didn't hold anything against him. Guess his pride is too big then.
They've been the main two, there have been others but they've all realised pretty quickly that I wasn't looking. I say wasn't because recently everything has changed.
Imagine this: a day after I went to Peter's house we had college again. I wandered into English Lit super anxious about what I was going to say to him - maybe we should go out, wouldn't that be simpler? Could I really do the whole relationship thing again? As the questions whirled around in my mind, and my hands began to shake, my anxiety strengthened slightly by the little yellow and green tablet I'd taken that morning, I was vaguely aware of a ginger-haired guy that I'd never seen before walking in a few minutes late, much to the annoyance of our teacher. Incidentally, it was also a year 10 taster day; I wonder if he'd walked into the wrong classroom. Studying him closely, I decided he was too old, and as he took out the books we were studying in class, I realised that he must have joined our english class sometime when I'd been away the last two weeks (one week I was ill with the flu; the second week I was away on a creative writing course in Cambridge). Soon enough, I returned to my ponderings, and the hour went annoyingly quickly. As everyone began to pack away, I realised I still had no idea what I was going to say to Peter. As I walked out the classroom, however, I saw that the ginger guy was waiting outside - let's call him Sky. I figured he was waiting for a friend, so I smiled vaguely at him and made to walk off, but he instead fell into step with me and was like, "You're Rach, right?" I confirmed this, and he started making conversation with me about English and stuff. He then moved on to my Avengers tshirt, and realising that he was a fellow nerd, I relaxed slightly.
I figured that down on the ground floor he'd bugger off to go hang out with his friends, but he didn't; we were both done for the day in terms of classes. I was waiting for two of my friends and Peter; we normally go to the local supermarket to get lunch and hang out. At this point, Peter turned up - so now, it was just me, him and this mysterious guy called Sky. Which was awkward as heck after what had happened the day before; Peter was staring at me as I continued my conversation with Sky. Our other two friends appeared, and I introduced Sky to them. We then all headed off to the supermarket, during which time Sky told me he had Tumblr. I then told him I too had Tumblr and was into Homestuck, in which we found out we both had the same obsession.
Ever since then we've been talking a lot and I think I might like him. We're going on a date tomorrow.
