Lost the battle, win the war

Today I am going to be positive.

Even the word sounds like a mountain that needs climbing. Pos-i-tive, three whole syllables, two eyes, like the human head. The first syllable speaks of possibilities, however, and so I shall be positive. So here goes.

Revision has been going reasonably well. Over the past 2 weeks I have achieved a pretty considerable amount, so I'm starting to feel like there may be some hope for me yet. However, a few hours ago, I discovered, to my horror, a mountain of homework waiting for me, a bit like a monster under the bed. Here's what I have to do:

2 essays for English Literature:
- How does Auden tell the story in 'Musee des Beaux Arts' and
- We never step twice into the same Auden. How far do you agree?
Also for English, I have to start making notes on some potential Gatsby essays. I have no idea how to do this - we're only halfway through studying the book. However, the first Auden essay should be reasonably easy as I made sufficient, perhaps overly-pedantic notes in class before we broke up for Easter, and I have somewhat of a plan for the second one.

French:
- Listening and reading sections of a past paper
I did the reading section today. It was awful and I'm pretty sure I haven't done very well, but I did it, and that's all that matters right now. As for the listening, there was some kind of problem with it so we've been given another section to do. I'll tussle with that tomorrow I think, after work.

I also have a French essay to do, which will be a pain, but I can do it. The essays aren't so hard.

I'm also meant to write some silly 'response to a letter' for Psychology, but to put it bluntly, I can't be asked. I have no care for Psychology whatsoever, and I'm busy enough with the subjects I a) care about and b) am doing next year, so because of this, I'm going to miss my 2 hours of Psychology on Monday morning to focus on all these essays so that I can get them out of the way in order for me to be able to come straight home on Monday and revise, provided I don't get given anymore homework.

I'm sorry. My attitude probably sounds awful. I've left all this homework till the last minute and now I'm telling you all about how I can't be bothered to turn up for one of my subjects. But to be fair, I sort of floated along through the holidays, totally focused on exams and forgetting that we hadn't actually finished the courses yet. I also had this vague sense of an idea that I only had one essay to do for English Literature, and that was it. So silly me.

I have a new running route, and I love it. It's wonderful to explore new territories of the area that I live in while blasting Paramore's new album through my ears. My favourite songs so far have to be Part 2, Grow Up, Daydreaming and Now, although I also love the many Interludes too.

In terms of revision, I've been working pretty hard, and I'm proud of myself. I've finished Tennyson's poems and I'm about halfway though Kite Runner AONs. Auden I can remember pretty well, so I'll only need to briefly go over that, with particular attention to the debate questions. Gatsby is what I'll also need to focus on, although it should be more accessible than Auden. English Language, I've done the written and spoken units and did a past paper which went really well. French, I've learned 2 and a half units' worth of vocabulary so far, and I've been through the most important tenses that I'll need. Psychology, we don't talk about. So I'm happy.

There's a positive entry. I've noticed that page views have somewhat skyrocketed unless I've been remembering them wrong - if so, thank you to everyone who is reading! I'd love to hear from you guys, as sometimes it feels like I'm talking to myself, and I'm actually pretty chatty, but even if I don't hear anything thank you anyway!

I ran 2 miles!

I'm going to give you guys some advice today. Don't eat craploads of cake and bad carbs and then go for a run. Why?

Because junk food makes you feel like shit. Simple.

I've been running for about two months now - not intensely, just something that helps me think and makes me feel a little less guilty if I've eaten a lot of crap that day. Anyway, I wasn't really looking where I was going until I found myself turning up an incredibly steep hill in the middle of town. I was like, well okay. I don't normally go this way but I'll see how I do up the hill. It was hard work, but I made it, and kept running. Only when I got to the edge of town did I realise that I'd run a whole mile in one direction. Normally I only go half a mile and then stop and turn around, but this time, I'd been so lost in my thoughts that I ran twice my distance. I turned around and headed back home - but as I hit the home straight, a sharp pain suddenly shot through my stomach. I bent over a little and slowed to a walk, and then bam, a strange feeling of mental fuzziness hit me. I started seeing flashing lights and the world started spinning. I think it's because I increased my distance too much - I haven't run since the beginning of September or so. Add that to the fact that I made and then ate a crapload of cake before my workout, and you get one unhappy body! When I made it home, I didn't know what I wanted. I had some water, but it didn't make me feel any better. I took off my hoodie - no help. I went and lay down - made me feel even worse. I started shivering uncontrollably, but it helped when I took my mind off my imminent circumstances. Slowly, I've started feeling better, and now I feel incredibly proud of myself for running so far. I've worked out I could probably have run 3 miles without that steep hill in between - which means that I'm now going to be taking part in some 5K runs in the area. Really looking forward to it!! I think my first one is in mid-October :D

The rest of today was really nice. We went to visit my brother at university, and so far, I'm so impressed at how much he's already matured, having been there only a week. He's made loads of friends, when normally he's the outcast, and spent the last two years at college alone. Already he's been to loads of parties, tried different foods, danced, had alcohol and even has 'Fresher's Flu' - the true sign of a week well spent!! I'm happy for him :') and it makes me feel a little better about him being there, too :)

The weather's been terrible though. We went into town and found a pharmacy so that I could find the right products to get my brother while he's ill and get some strepsils for myself (I feel a cold lingering at the corners of my consciousness), and rain tumbled from the sky in thick torrents. After just 100 metres of walking down the road we were already drenched to the bone, and I've been shivering ever since, despite having the heating on full blast and getting changed into some dry clothes.

I should go. I still have a Lit essay to do for homework, and I promised people that I'd have another chapter of a fanfiction I'm writing on deviantART up by the end of today. Peace out!! :)
Rach