Yesterday was.... I don't think I can describe it in one word, so I'm just gonna write it down in the 5 minutes I have left.
So basically, I was meant to meet up with GuyImetatparty as well as some others in a nearby seaside town yesterday. However, GuyImetatparty cancelled for the 8th time in a row because he promised to see some other girl who was meant to be going to this town with us, too. Which pissed me right off. Psychology was cancelled and I broke down in English Language, so I had to go see the Welfare officer and talk to her for a while. I told her about my step-dad. She told me I should go live with my Dad, which is ridiculous because he lives 300 miles away. I can't just bugger off in the middle of A levels. She also told me that I should go to the doctor and get meds. But I don't want anti-depressants because I know in some cases they make it worse in young people. I have to go see her again today.
I was messaging my friend the whole day and she agreed to get on the same bus when it passed through her town (I no longer had no interest in going with the others to the sea). She didn't say anything when she got on; she just hugged me. And then she said sorry. We tried to rationalise GuyImetatparty's logic, wondering if there was a slightly more evil motive to his actions. We ended up sitting at the park talking for about an hour before she had to go home again. This girl's house is literally just down the road from mine, and just down the road from the park. I ended up sitting there for the next 2 hours, not wanting to go home to my step-dad and his stupid words. I wondered if perhaps GuyImetatparty had driven right past me and not even texted me to say he had.
I got home; thankfully my step-dad wasn't there. I ended up somehow on the floor; I don't know whether I passed out or fell asleep or what. So I lay there crying for a bit and then got in the shower. I couldn't get over the fact that he was just 20 houses down the road and I haven't seen him in months. I texted my other friend and we agreed to turn up at their house. It was snowing by the time we got there.
His face completely lit up when he saw me. We played Halo; he told me I was really good (I'm not). The other girl went completely silent. He continuously apologised. Had to leave after half an hour. Gave me a massively long hug, and I literally clung to him. He said he'd come to my college to see us all soon. I hope he does. I don't think I can go another 2 months without seeing him. Then he had to go. On the way back he texted me about the fact that this girl was apparently in a bad way which is why he'd had to go see her. I forgave him.
Everyone tells me to let him go. That he treats me like shit. But I can't. I called my brother from the kitchen floor and cried down the phone about how I couldn't - I will always like him. Even after today, everyone told me the same advice. But I won't. It's taken me months to get him to trust me enough to let him in; I won't just ditch him like that. Even if it causes me pain, the hug I got from him yesterday made everything worth it.
Anyway, happy V-Day/forever alone day guys. I have to go see the welfare officer again today; I'll let you know how it goes.
Rach
Showing posts with label 16 year old girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 16 year old girl. Show all posts
Wednesday, 13 February 2013
Monday, 11 February 2013
A Rather Interesting Weekend
As the title suggests, I had a 'rather interesting' weekend. That's not a euphemism for absolutely terrible - there were some good parts in between, but I spent about 40% of the time in tears.
I suppose I should start with Saturday - the good day, up until the evening. I painted the usual smile on my face as I entered my work place. However, it was soon wiped clean off when I found out that we had to make approximately £1000 by the end of the day. Normally I'd estimate that we earn about £500-700, depending on how busy it is. So it was definitely going to be a challenge - and I didn't want to find out what would happen if we failed.
I learned some things about myself that day. I'm actually a pretty good salesperson. I can talk convincingly if and when I have to. That's not another euphemism for lying or being overly-persuasive - you can't exactly lie when it comes to selling meds; that goes against every moral I have, and I'm pretty sure most people have. Things just... seemed to go right though. That guy who came in to buy the Voltarol, of course, wanted the biggest pack size. The lady who came to buy nail polish remover, of course, would love to have some cotton wall with that thank you. It kind of amazed me. I actually started to enjoy myself by the end of the day. I never thought I'd say that; at 16 work is work, it's meant to give you aspirations to get a better-paid job where you sit at a desk sending emails all day trying to figure out what it is you do, rather than settle for shop work. It's also meant to teach you how to motivate yourself through your most probably middle-class, depressing life. You're not supposed to enjoy it. But somehow, the challenge of having to raise £1000 by the end of the day actually was. Apprentice here I come...
The 'interesting' side to the weekend began late Saturday night. Weary and having changed into the usual afterwork attire of leggings and hoodies I lay, half asleep on my bed, watching an episode of Supernaural. Suddenly out of nowhere, I heard a strange furious murmur begin outside my door. I recognised that mumur - the sharpness of the syllables just said it all. Giving Dean and Sam Winchester a wistful look, I headed over to my door, stumbling right into my step-dad and a full-scale bitch about me. Turned out I'd apparently shut my cat Lilli in the bathroom. By accident. But apparently this was a mistake that shouldn't have happened. Apparently I need to "wake the 'fuck' up if I'm going to get anywhere in life" and I need to "start giving a shit." Keep in mind that this is an argument succeeding about a million others. And a million other things that I really hate, such as him glaring at me like I'm shit on the carpet whenever I get home from college. I ended up screaming at him to 'shut up, shut up' but he wouldn't stop, but I couldn't stop screaming, so I ended up slamming the door in his face and snapping the light off. And then collapsing to the floor crying my eyes out. And nobody came to check on me all night - not my mum, no one. Which sounds self-centered, but I wasn't exactly crying quietly. I started talking to a friend from my old school about what it was like to have a father figure, because my step-dad and I have never exactly had the most wonderful relationship. I ended up crying more and falling asleep on the floor in the fetal position. I wake up at 3am plagued by nightmares so strong I'm paralysed. But just when I thought I was going to go mad, all my friends' faces began to swim in front of my vision. Not physically of course - in the dream playing in my head. As mercilessly as my stepdad's bitching. But my friends helped me. They fought away the dreams. And so I won against the torture of my own mind.
Next day I woke feeling a little more okay. I cried again recounting to one of my best friends what happened, and then I lay in bed a bit moping. After that I put on my brave face and went downstairs and tried to pretend everything was totally normal. I ate lunch. Went back upstairs. Got changed and then went straight out for a run. I ran a whole three miles, trying to push away all the awful memories, focusing on my breathing, the music I was listening to. I felt better when I got back, and dropped off dreamlessly that night.
So yeah, that was my rather interesting weekend. Exercise definitely helps me regain control over my mind - I'm going to have to do it more often, I think ^^ I'm out every night this week too, so hopefully that'll help me avoid my step-dad.
Rach
I suppose I should start with Saturday - the good day, up until the evening. I painted the usual smile on my face as I entered my work place. However, it was soon wiped clean off when I found out that we had to make approximately £1000 by the end of the day. Normally I'd estimate that we earn about £500-700, depending on how busy it is. So it was definitely going to be a challenge - and I didn't want to find out what would happen if we failed.
I learned some things about myself that day. I'm actually a pretty good salesperson. I can talk convincingly if and when I have to. That's not another euphemism for lying or being overly-persuasive - you can't exactly lie when it comes to selling meds; that goes against every moral I have, and I'm pretty sure most people have. Things just... seemed to go right though. That guy who came in to buy the Voltarol, of course, wanted the biggest pack size. The lady who came to buy nail polish remover, of course, would love to have some cotton wall with that thank you. It kind of amazed me. I actually started to enjoy myself by the end of the day. I never thought I'd say that; at 16 work is work, it's meant to give you aspirations to get a better-paid job where you sit at a desk sending emails all day trying to figure out what it is you do, rather than settle for shop work. It's also meant to teach you how to motivate yourself through your most probably middle-class, depressing life. You're not supposed to enjoy it. But somehow, the challenge of having to raise £1000 by the end of the day actually was. Apprentice here I come...
The 'interesting' side to the weekend began late Saturday night. Weary and having changed into the usual afterwork attire of leggings and hoodies I lay, half asleep on my bed, watching an episode of Supernaural. Suddenly out of nowhere, I heard a strange furious murmur begin outside my door. I recognised that mumur - the sharpness of the syllables just said it all. Giving Dean and Sam Winchester a wistful look, I headed over to my door, stumbling right into my step-dad and a full-scale bitch about me. Turned out I'd apparently shut my cat Lilli in the bathroom. By accident. But apparently this was a mistake that shouldn't have happened. Apparently I need to "wake the 'fuck' up if I'm going to get anywhere in life" and I need to "start giving a shit." Keep in mind that this is an argument succeeding about a million others. And a million other things that I really hate, such as him glaring at me like I'm shit on the carpet whenever I get home from college. I ended up screaming at him to 'shut up, shut up' but he wouldn't stop, but I couldn't stop screaming, so I ended up slamming the door in his face and snapping the light off. And then collapsing to the floor crying my eyes out. And nobody came to check on me all night - not my mum, no one. Which sounds self-centered, but I wasn't exactly crying quietly. I started talking to a friend from my old school about what it was like to have a father figure, because my step-dad and I have never exactly had the most wonderful relationship. I ended up crying more and falling asleep on the floor in the fetal position. I wake up at 3am plagued by nightmares so strong I'm paralysed. But just when I thought I was going to go mad, all my friends' faces began to swim in front of my vision. Not physically of course - in the dream playing in my head. As mercilessly as my stepdad's bitching. But my friends helped me. They fought away the dreams. And so I won against the torture of my own mind.
Next day I woke feeling a little more okay. I cried again recounting to one of my best friends what happened, and then I lay in bed a bit moping. After that I put on my brave face and went downstairs and tried to pretend everything was totally normal. I ate lunch. Went back upstairs. Got changed and then went straight out for a run. I ran a whole three miles, trying to push away all the awful memories, focusing on my breathing, the music I was listening to. I felt better when I got back, and dropped off dreamlessly that night.
So yeah, that was my rather interesting weekend. Exercise definitely helps me regain control over my mind - I'm going to have to do it more often, I think ^^ I'm out every night this week too, so hopefully that'll help me avoid my step-dad.
Rach
Saturday, 9 February 2013
Some life advice
I want to share some life advice with you all today. Over the past few days, I feel like I've suddenly grown up a lot again. Being the strong one has kind of made all my stress responses kick into gear and as I result I've become so much more efficient.
If there is a guy you like, who potentially likes you back, while the reflex may be to go out, I urge you not to. Because relationships, on the whole, can be so awful. There is a lot of pressure and stress involved. It's not like the movies where everything is sunshine and happiness and roses. You might end up spending all day that you're not talking to them enough, why they're not talking to you more, whether you should go out on a date, whether they're cheating on you, this, that, the other. It makes you afraid to be yourself. In fact, sometimes it can really affect you. These are all things I had with my ex. And then when it ends, because most do, it's extremely difficult to remain friends. When all along you could have just kept your friendship with that guy or girl and been happier. Less pressure to do, say the right thing; be the right person. You have more freedom, too. Not to go make out with other people or talk to other girls/boys - although it's better for your friendships with the opposite gender - but just within yourself.
I still believe that there's a day when I'll find someone who will make me feel free when I'm with them, like properly with them. Maybe it is indeed GuyImetatparty. But right now, I'm not going to lose sleep on it. What matters to me is our friendship. Of course I miss him so much. It's an aching inside of me that doesn't go away; a thrum that will always pull me to him. But I respect the fact that, like me, he is unstable and cannot settle on anything. We are both the same. Maybe one day we will go out and it will be amazing. But I care more about our friendship than I do about some relationship, which might potentially go wrong.
There's some advice for y'all (:
Rach
If there is a guy you like, who potentially likes you back, while the reflex may be to go out, I urge you not to. Because relationships, on the whole, can be so awful. There is a lot of pressure and stress involved. It's not like the movies where everything is sunshine and happiness and roses. You might end up spending all day that you're not talking to them enough, why they're not talking to you more, whether you should go out on a date, whether they're cheating on you, this, that, the other. It makes you afraid to be yourself. In fact, sometimes it can really affect you. These are all things I had with my ex. And then when it ends, because most do, it's extremely difficult to remain friends. When all along you could have just kept your friendship with that guy or girl and been happier. Less pressure to do, say the right thing; be the right person. You have more freedom, too. Not to go make out with other people or talk to other girls/boys - although it's better for your friendships with the opposite gender - but just within yourself.
I still believe that there's a day when I'll find someone who will make me feel free when I'm with them, like properly with them. Maybe it is indeed GuyImetatparty. But right now, I'm not going to lose sleep on it. What matters to me is our friendship. Of course I miss him so much. It's an aching inside of me that doesn't go away; a thrum that will always pull me to him. But I respect the fact that, like me, he is unstable and cannot settle on anything. We are both the same. Maybe one day we will go out and it will be amazing. But I care more about our friendship than I do about some relationship, which might potentially go wrong.
There's some advice for y'all (:
Rach
Tuesday, 5 February 2013
In Which I Freak Out in a Public Place
Hello again everybody!
I had a pretty good day yesterday, although it's true that I'm absolutely exhausted now as a result. My day started off as freaking awesome - I got a message from GuyImetatparty with a video which I went to go watch in the computer room as soon as I was free. It's called Paper Man and it's a Disney animation, it was literally so cute that I just sat there grinning like an idiot for ages. I messaged him back thanking him for the link and he replied with 'No problem, I literally spent all night looking for videos that would cheer you up'. I actually made some kind of noise expressing cuteness out loud. Rather loudly.. Like, I've never done anything so retarded and lame and girly in my life. I regretted it the moment annoyed student heads turned in my direction, simply burying my head in my arms and trembling half with laughter half with oh-my-goodness-you're-so-cute-dude.
Had English Lit after that (French is irrelevant, it was so dull). During which my teacher got extraordinarily excited about Auden, who seems to be her favourite poet. It was nice though, to see such love towards literature. Kind of inspiring, you know? There are too many teachers out there that just bleat what they know at you, set you homework and push you through your exams and then that's it. You forget everything you ever learned in that class and continue on with your life. My English teacher clearly loves literature so much I can't help but sit there and smile at her. It's like seeing a couple gaze into each other's eyes and smile, if you like. You can almost see the love as a physical thing, and it gives you hope. I've heard Auden is pretty boring too, but I'm hoping my teacher will make it fun.
After that, three of us decided to go to a nearby seaside town and just hang out for the afternoon as we finished all our lessons. Which was okay I guess, apart from the fact that one of them is my ex. Which was... interesting, to say the least. It started off as super awkward and I did genuinely attempt to form some kind of excuse as to why I suddenly couldn't go in my mind, but we were at the station before I knew it and I had no choice. It got better though - we went to go and see the Life of Pi, took pictures on the beach, and wandered around before we went to Nandos and then back home again.
The Life of Pi is, quite literally, a visionary orgasm. The first half an hour is insanely boring - and I would admit that the film doesn't really have much of a plot or much substance until you get to the end, and then boom! The twist happens. And suddenly the last 2 hours are totally worth it. But like I said, it was a visionary orgasm - we saw it in 3D which definitely helped, plus the colours and lights were absolutely amazing <3
So I have to get up now and start getting ready for college. I only have 2 lessons which is a relief as I'm starting to feel pretty tired xD think I'll sleep once I get home :)
Rach
I had a pretty good day yesterday, although it's true that I'm absolutely exhausted now as a result. My day started off as freaking awesome - I got a message from GuyImetatparty with a video which I went to go watch in the computer room as soon as I was free. It's called Paper Man and it's a Disney animation, it was literally so cute that I just sat there grinning like an idiot for ages. I messaged him back thanking him for the link and he replied with 'No problem, I literally spent all night looking for videos that would cheer you up'. I actually made some kind of noise expressing cuteness out loud. Rather loudly.. Like, I've never done anything so retarded and lame and girly in my life. I regretted it the moment annoyed student heads turned in my direction, simply burying my head in my arms and trembling half with laughter half with oh-my-goodness-you're-so-cute-dude.
Had English Lit after that (French is irrelevant, it was so dull). During which my teacher got extraordinarily excited about Auden, who seems to be her favourite poet. It was nice though, to see such love towards literature. Kind of inspiring, you know? There are too many teachers out there that just bleat what they know at you, set you homework and push you through your exams and then that's it. You forget everything you ever learned in that class and continue on with your life. My English teacher clearly loves literature so much I can't help but sit there and smile at her. It's like seeing a couple gaze into each other's eyes and smile, if you like. You can almost see the love as a physical thing, and it gives you hope. I've heard Auden is pretty boring too, but I'm hoping my teacher will make it fun.
After that, three of us decided to go to a nearby seaside town and just hang out for the afternoon as we finished all our lessons. Which was okay I guess, apart from the fact that one of them is my ex. Which was... interesting, to say the least. It started off as super awkward and I did genuinely attempt to form some kind of excuse as to why I suddenly couldn't go in my mind, but we were at the station before I knew it and I had no choice. It got better though - we went to go and see the Life of Pi, took pictures on the beach, and wandered around before we went to Nandos and then back home again.
The Life of Pi is, quite literally, a visionary orgasm. The first half an hour is insanely boring - and I would admit that the film doesn't really have much of a plot or much substance until you get to the end, and then boom! The twist happens. And suddenly the last 2 hours are totally worth it. But like I said, it was a visionary orgasm - we saw it in 3D which definitely helped, plus the colours and lights were absolutely amazing <3
So I have to get up now and start getting ready for college. I only have 2 lessons which is a relief as I'm starting to feel pretty tired xD think I'll sleep once I get home :)
Rach
Monday, 4 February 2013
In which I dye my hair
I dip dyed my hair blonde on Sunday in an attempt to fight the usual boredom. And it looks awesome. I didn't really spend that long carefully selecting the bleach - the woman on the box had blonde hair so I'm assuming it did relatively the right thing, and I could afford it without having to plod off to the cash machine and go get some more money out, so I bought it. Naturally I filmed the whole thing and later edited it for YouTube. I did, however, make the small mistake of dying a streak of my hair blonde, too. I aimed for just a small little part of my hair, but instead the strand expanded to form a yellowish layer over the rest of the front of my hair - so now, from the front, because you can't see the rest of my hair, which is brown, it looks like I've badly dyed all of it blonde. Which sucks. I don't actually know if I'm allowed it at work or not yet, but if not, well, it's not up to them what I do with my hair. And if they're going to send me home for it, then I'm leaving. There's so much crazy stuff I want to do with my hair that cannot concern them. It's my body after all.
My friend Mikaela and I completely lost the desire to go home yesterday. Literally as I got off the bus, these awful waves of dread began to wash over me - I'm sick of coming home to a house containing only my bullying step-father, being pissed off by the time I go upstairs and then sitting in a cold room writing essays. It's awful. So we bought some food from a nearby shop and sat in the park until it got too dark and cold to continue on with our lack of desire to go home. My excuse to my step-dad was that I missed the bus. He sent back 'Ok.' Note the full stop at the end there. Mikaela's Mum? Okay honey xxxxxxx. I don't think I need to say anymore.
When I finally got home, however, there was bad news waiting for me. My dog, Wilson, has a tumour on his leg. We're not sure if it's cancerous yet; he's having surgery on Thursday so I guess we'll find out soon enough. It's funny; I used to sigh and roll my eyes when I saw him. I always used to find him an annoying little shit, always so full of energy and hope and happiness when to be honest, I haven't really had any of those things. I suppose I was a little bit jealous of his precious little world. But seeing him lying there, exhausted, and then later on, seeing him roll around on the floor, completely oblivious to the world outside and what was wrong with him, brought tears burning into the backs of my eyes. I sat there clinging on to him for a while. He's not even a year old yet.
There's so much pain and loss and change in my life right now. So many things to worry about, to watch pass by, to mourn for. My Mum sits there crying and is hardly there mentally right now because she's on teacher placement and it is quite literally killing her; she can't cope with the strain and I don't blame her. My step-dad is, to be honest, no use to anyone. All he does is shout and bully and get overly defensive. My brother's away in uni. So I'm the one who has to be strong right now. I'm holding up okay. Despite the insomnia. But it means I get to talk to GuyImetatparty and he helps a lot. But I promised myself I would be strong. So here I go.
Rach
My friend Mikaela and I completely lost the desire to go home yesterday. Literally as I got off the bus, these awful waves of dread began to wash over me - I'm sick of coming home to a house containing only my bullying step-father, being pissed off by the time I go upstairs and then sitting in a cold room writing essays. It's awful. So we bought some food from a nearby shop and sat in the park until it got too dark and cold to continue on with our lack of desire to go home. My excuse to my step-dad was that I missed the bus. He sent back 'Ok.' Note the full stop at the end there. Mikaela's Mum? Okay honey xxxxxxx. I don't think I need to say anymore.
When I finally got home, however, there was bad news waiting for me. My dog, Wilson, has a tumour on his leg. We're not sure if it's cancerous yet; he's having surgery on Thursday so I guess we'll find out soon enough. It's funny; I used to sigh and roll my eyes when I saw him. I always used to find him an annoying little shit, always so full of energy and hope and happiness when to be honest, I haven't really had any of those things. I suppose I was a little bit jealous of his precious little world. But seeing him lying there, exhausted, and then later on, seeing him roll around on the floor, completely oblivious to the world outside and what was wrong with him, brought tears burning into the backs of my eyes. I sat there clinging on to him for a while. He's not even a year old yet.
There's so much pain and loss and change in my life right now. So many things to worry about, to watch pass by, to mourn for. My Mum sits there crying and is hardly there mentally right now because she's on teacher placement and it is quite literally killing her; she can't cope with the strain and I don't blame her. My step-dad is, to be honest, no use to anyone. All he does is shout and bully and get overly defensive. My brother's away in uni. So I'm the one who has to be strong right now. I'm holding up okay. Despite the insomnia. But it means I get to talk to GuyImetatparty and he helps a lot. But I promised myself I would be strong. So here I go.
Rach
Sunday, 3 February 2013
In Which I Write Essays Compulsively
Hello again everybody!
It's been another few weeks since I've last written - I've literally been so busy with A levels I don't even know where to begin! However, I am making great progress with guyImetatparty! He's been having a lot of difficulties with trust but last Friday he had a dream about me - and I'm the first person he's let into his dreams for months. He also called me special 'n stuff, which was amazing and really touched me :') I proceeded to fall over backwards and stare at my ceiling, making a very strange noise. I'm glad I'm persevering with him. I genuinely want to help him, and it feels like maybe, just maybe, I might be doing that, plus I like him a lot. We haven't met up in almost 9 weeks, granted, but I'm sure we'll find the time again soon.
My insomnia is still here, but I don't really see a problem with it to be honest. I don't feel like I need the sleep during the week, and I have Tues + Wed afternoons off so I can sleep then if I want to - plus I often sleep for like 12 hours at the weekend so I'm not complaining :P And I get to have really good conversations with guyImetatparty at the same time :) Sometimes I worry if I'm being annoying. I'm really, really good at convincing myself that nobody likes me xD but I'm hoping he'll say something if I get too annoying.
I've been relapsing with depression a little bit too. Nothing major - just stress about A levels. I've been writing essays and doing coursework in every single one of my subjects! And one of my friends, who I walk to college with every day, may have to retake her first year already and it's only February, which is somewhat terrifying. The teachers are telling us to start revising now, when I don't really see the point to be honest. We have a whole five months until our exams, and if I start now I know I'll be bored rigid by the time I get to May and June. I'll probably start to do something after half term though :) not serious revision, but juts recapping and finding a place for it in my head.My memory problems are worsening which doesn't help, but I blame the depression/lack of sleep/stress about college more than anything. But yesterday, I felt like I was waking up a little for the first time in terms of depression. I've been kind of closing myself off from everyone in the last few weeks, but yesterday I felt a little more open than I have before. So I have hope :)
We have 2 weeks 'till half term. Already started to make plans for our jaunts which is nice. It seems like I'll be spending most of it in a seaside town nearby, which I can't complain about because I love it there.
Anyway, I'm going to go and start looking at universities as my friends are already applying and booking open days!! Aaah!
It's been another few weeks since I've last written - I've literally been so busy with A levels I don't even know where to begin! However, I am making great progress with guyImetatparty! He's been having a lot of difficulties with trust but last Friday he had a dream about me - and I'm the first person he's let into his dreams for months. He also called me special 'n stuff, which was amazing and really touched me :') I proceeded to fall over backwards and stare at my ceiling, making a very strange noise. I'm glad I'm persevering with him. I genuinely want to help him, and it feels like maybe, just maybe, I might be doing that, plus I like him a lot. We haven't met up in almost 9 weeks, granted, but I'm sure we'll find the time again soon.
My insomnia is still here, but I don't really see a problem with it to be honest. I don't feel like I need the sleep during the week, and I have Tues + Wed afternoons off so I can sleep then if I want to - plus I often sleep for like 12 hours at the weekend so I'm not complaining :P And I get to have really good conversations with guyImetatparty at the same time :) Sometimes I worry if I'm being annoying. I'm really, really good at convincing myself that nobody likes me xD but I'm hoping he'll say something if I get too annoying.
I've been relapsing with depression a little bit too. Nothing major - just stress about A levels. I've been writing essays and doing coursework in every single one of my subjects! And one of my friends, who I walk to college with every day, may have to retake her first year already and it's only February, which is somewhat terrifying. The teachers are telling us to start revising now, when I don't really see the point to be honest. We have a whole five months until our exams, and if I start now I know I'll be bored rigid by the time I get to May and June. I'll probably start to do something after half term though :) not serious revision, but juts recapping and finding a place for it in my head.My memory problems are worsening which doesn't help, but I blame the depression/lack of sleep/stress about college more than anything. But yesterday, I felt like I was waking up a little for the first time in terms of depression. I've been kind of closing myself off from everyone in the last few weeks, but yesterday I felt a little more open than I have before. So I have hope :)
We have 2 weeks 'till half term. Already started to make plans for our jaunts which is nice. It seems like I'll be spending most of it in a seaside town nearby, which I can't complain about because I love it there.
Anyway, I'm going to go and start looking at universities as my friends are already applying and booking open days!! Aaah!
Friday, 28 September 2012
Triple English
I totally forgot to write yesterday - which is justifiable seeing as I didn't actually get in until half eleven last night, and then I had to go in to college to double check that I could drop Pre-U. Yesterday was pretty fun - we spent most of second period performing a quiet medley of loads of random songs, most of which I didn't know because they were from the 60s and 70s and stuff, but it was still fun. I have a friend who can do a really good Tenacious D impression which is pretty awesome :') normally Thursday is pizza day, but it was pouring with rain (again) and none of us wanted to go out so we stayed in.
I had triple English after this. Triple English I tell you. I bet you can't think of anything worse haha :P I had an hour of Language and then two hours of Literature, with 40 minutes of a breaktime in between. It wasn't too bad though - in Language all we really did was analyse a film review, but Literature was much harder work. By the end of the day I was exhausted, but pottered off to the train station and found my way into town to meet up with my friends from outside college. I love these guys so much - they're the handful of friends I have who I can totally and 100% be myself around. Like, I can say anything and they won't mind at all, it's awesome :) We saw Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark in IMAX, and then went to Pizza Hut. I'd never seen ROTLA before, and it wasn't completely my thing, but it was still really cool. The service at Pizza Hut was absolutely terrible though - the waiter kept forgetting about us. We actually had to go up and directly ask for cutlery when everybody else around us was given some, we also had to ask if we could pay the bill and if we could have a card machine, too :/ They wouldn't even let my friend get a discount when she works at the Pizza Hut takeaway branch just across the road. But the food was pretty good :)
So this morning, I blearily-eyed forced myself onto a bus at 8:30 in the morning and then off again once we got to college, before putting my points across to a supervisor about why I wanted to drop Pre-U. She first of all suggested that I should drop Psychology and do Lit, Lang, French and Pre-U, but that didn't seem to make much sense to me, doing 3 A-levels and then an extended diploma thing. I managed to convince her to let me drop Pre-U though, and she graciously accepted my decision. I'm just worried about the workload, 'tis all. I'd rather get my A-levels than worry about learning skills for uni now - and it's more or less essay writing and presentations, which isn't the main focus of Modern Languages, which is my strength. Afterwards I got back onto another bus, and well, here I am.
I'm meeting up with college friends in an hour. No idea what we're doing, but I'll probably write a post later on :D
Peace!
Rach
I had triple English after this. Triple English I tell you. I bet you can't think of anything worse haha :P I had an hour of Language and then two hours of Literature, with 40 minutes of a breaktime in between. It wasn't too bad though - in Language all we really did was analyse a film review, but Literature was much harder work. By the end of the day I was exhausted, but pottered off to the train station and found my way into town to meet up with my friends from outside college. I love these guys so much - they're the handful of friends I have who I can totally and 100% be myself around. Like, I can say anything and they won't mind at all, it's awesome :) We saw Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark in IMAX, and then went to Pizza Hut. I'd never seen ROTLA before, and it wasn't completely my thing, but it was still really cool. The service at Pizza Hut was absolutely terrible though - the waiter kept forgetting about us. We actually had to go up and directly ask for cutlery when everybody else around us was given some, we also had to ask if we could pay the bill and if we could have a card machine, too :/ They wouldn't even let my friend get a discount when she works at the Pizza Hut takeaway branch just across the road. But the food was pretty good :)
So this morning, I blearily-eyed forced myself onto a bus at 8:30 in the morning and then off again once we got to college, before putting my points across to a supervisor about why I wanted to drop Pre-U. She first of all suggested that I should drop Psychology and do Lit, Lang, French and Pre-U, but that didn't seem to make much sense to me, doing 3 A-levels and then an extended diploma thing. I managed to convince her to let me drop Pre-U though, and she graciously accepted my decision. I'm just worried about the workload, 'tis all. I'd rather get my A-levels than worry about learning skills for uni now - and it's more or less essay writing and presentations, which isn't the main focus of Modern Languages, which is my strength. Afterwards I got back onto another bus, and well, here I am.
I'm meeting up with college friends in an hour. No idea what we're doing, but I'll probably write a post later on :D
Peace!
Rach
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
Four shots of caffeine later...
There's only one way I can really describe today: wet. The rain seemed to follow me right from my front doorstep all the way to college and then back again - although on the bright side I did see about three rainbows which was pretty cool :P the worst thing was, was that I was wearing denim jeans and shoes that weren't waterproof, nor did I have an umbrella. Which meant that I spent most of today walking around with goosebumps permanently embedded into my skin. It was an interesting day though.
I only have two lessons on Tuesdays: French and English Literature. French was the same as it usually is, although I reached the conclusion that I'm going to have to drop Pre-U because I can't actually fit French oral practice onto my timetable :/ I mean, I have frees, but not enough to fit in with the teacher's timetable and everybody else's. I'm not particularly bothered though - Pre-U is a muddle of essays, presentations and discussions about affairs that, although I know are important, aren't something that particularly interests me, or my life revolves around. It more seems to be centered towards those who are going for a degree at either Oxbridge or in a humanities-based subject such as Politics, Economics, Law, et cetera. This also means that I wouldn't have to get up early on a Friday morning, I'd get to go home earlier on Wednesdays, and I'd also have a double free on Monday, which is nice :) also it means I'll get to keep my job without getting worried about not keeping up with schoolwork. It's not official yet though - I have to go and argue my case on Friday. Should be okay though.
So after an hour of French and frustration about my timetable, I had English Lit, where we tore apart Orsino's first speech in Twelfth Night: 'If music be the food of love, play on.' I have to say, I absolutely love Shakespeare, and got really into it. The teacher seemed really impressed with me as well :D afterwards, I met up with my friends in the canteen and we had lunch, and after that, my friend and I battled our way through the rain to get home. Thankfully, my friend had actually taken an umbrella to school, so we remained mostly dry for half the time. Whilst under the safety of an artifical canopy, it's easy to laugh at those around us who aren't so fortunate - although I'll probably be in the same predicament tomorrow as I was this morning, as I don't think I actually own an umbrella.
I then proceeded to spend an hour in Starbucks with one of my old school friend's boyfriends. Sounds a lot more 'cheeky' than it actually was - I don't really know him that well, so we spent the hour actually learning some things about each other, i.e. what A levels we are doing. Also, I'm completely socially awkward around most boys so there was no way in heck anything could have happened between us, even if I'd tried. It didn't help that my frappucino kept leaking everywhere, too, so I ended up even colder and now stickier than I had been before. I finally met my friend, and we walked into town before it started raining again. We then proceeded to spend the next hour in Waterstones, Boots and then Cafe Nero, where I had yet more caffeine. Add that to my frappucino and the two pepsi max cans I had earlier at college and, well, that's a lot of caffeine. Although to be fair I was exhausted; Monday is pretty much a full day of lessons, and I had a pretty eventful dream at an airport during the night so :P after a while I caught the bus home, and by this point it was freezing cold and getting dark so my Mum very graciously picked me up from the bus stop :)
That concludes my day. Since then I've been doing some extra study and now I'm going to start reading the 1,000 page long complete works of Sherlock Holmes because I'm just that boring.
Peace!
Rach
I only have two lessons on Tuesdays: French and English Literature. French was the same as it usually is, although I reached the conclusion that I'm going to have to drop Pre-U because I can't actually fit French oral practice onto my timetable :/ I mean, I have frees, but not enough to fit in with the teacher's timetable and everybody else's. I'm not particularly bothered though - Pre-U is a muddle of essays, presentations and discussions about affairs that, although I know are important, aren't something that particularly interests me, or my life revolves around. It more seems to be centered towards those who are going for a degree at either Oxbridge or in a humanities-based subject such as Politics, Economics, Law, et cetera. This also means that I wouldn't have to get up early on a Friday morning, I'd get to go home earlier on Wednesdays, and I'd also have a double free on Monday, which is nice :) also it means I'll get to keep my job without getting worried about not keeping up with schoolwork. It's not official yet though - I have to go and argue my case on Friday. Should be okay though.
So after an hour of French and frustration about my timetable, I had English Lit, where we tore apart Orsino's first speech in Twelfth Night: 'If music be the food of love, play on.' I have to say, I absolutely love Shakespeare, and got really into it. The teacher seemed really impressed with me as well :D afterwards, I met up with my friends in the canteen and we had lunch, and after that, my friend and I battled our way through the rain to get home. Thankfully, my friend had actually taken an umbrella to school, so we remained mostly dry for half the time. Whilst under the safety of an artifical canopy, it's easy to laugh at those around us who aren't so fortunate - although I'll probably be in the same predicament tomorrow as I was this morning, as I don't think I actually own an umbrella.
I then proceeded to spend an hour in Starbucks with one of my old school friend's boyfriends. Sounds a lot more 'cheeky' than it actually was - I don't really know him that well, so we spent the hour actually learning some things about each other, i.e. what A levels we are doing. Also, I'm completely socially awkward around most boys so there was no way in heck anything could have happened between us, even if I'd tried. It didn't help that my frappucino kept leaking everywhere, too, so I ended up even colder and now stickier than I had been before. I finally met my friend, and we walked into town before it started raining again. We then proceeded to spend the next hour in Waterstones, Boots and then Cafe Nero, where I had yet more caffeine. Add that to my frappucino and the two pepsi max cans I had earlier at college and, well, that's a lot of caffeine. Although to be fair I was exhausted; Monday is pretty much a full day of lessons, and I had a pretty eventful dream at an airport during the night so :P after a while I caught the bus home, and by this point it was freezing cold and getting dark so my Mum very graciously picked me up from the bus stop :)
That concludes my day. Since then I've been doing some extra study and now I'm going to start reading the 1,000 page long complete works of Sherlock Holmes because I'm just that boring.
Peace!
Rach
Monday, 24 September 2012
Tango'ed.
Getting up this morning was so hard. It's officially Autumn, which means that the nights are slowly beginning to get longer, darker, more unpleasant. I was roused by the sound of my phone's alarm at a wonderful 6 o'clock in the morning today, and sat, shivering in my bed, for a good 15 minutes before finally dragging myself downstairs.
First obstacle of the week: a concerning lack of coffee in the house. I emptied what little granules were left and tried to compensate by using a smaller mug. Didn't work. I was briefly roused by a brisk walk to the bus stop, although the strange warmth and wet weather didn't particularly help, especially as the bus heaters were blazing and the traffic was slow. Seriously. We crawled along at an agonising pace through Monday morning traffic today. I've never seen it that bad before. I suppose the wet weather didn't really help - but seriously.
It started to rain during my first lessons of the day - double Psychology, aka two hours of it. After one hour, I briefly left the classroom with my friend to grab a cappuccino from the common room, which helped me feel a little better. After another hour of learning about Bowlby's evolutionary theory of attachment, it was break time, so I topped up my sugar levels, now feeling a little more ready for the day. My friend and I always have such a great laugh during Psychology, so I approached Pre-U with enthusiasm. Unfortunately, there's very little ways in which Pre-U can be considered to be fun - and by this point, it was tipping it down outside. The sound of the rain pounding the roof above us was a little comforting, but the general murk of the day leaked into the classroom, dampening everybody's moods slightly. This was worsened when we were set an essay on whether we could say that the sporting ethos of the Olympics was fair. Everybody else seemed to have an opinion on this, but as one of those maverick teenagers who avoids anything and everything popular or mainstream, I realised I had no opinion or fact to base my essay off of. So yeah, that was a great essay in the end.
Thankfully after this, I had a free, which I spent with two of my guy friends in the common room. Insert more caffeine here, this time in the place of a diet pepsi, as well as a chicken sandwich from the canteen, seeing as it's about 12:30 by this point. I have to say, I do love these two guy friends in question. One of them is just so easy to talk to it's unbelievable, whereas the other one, like me, loves YouTube and actually makes videos himself. They're both guys who can really keep the conversation going, which is certainly refreshing to see, compared to my old school, where any conversation with any boy went straight to sexsexsexsex. We ended up talking about a whole load of things, including the moment when they tried to give me career advice. After a while, however, we drew the conclusion that I probably shouldn't become a Politican or a Diplomat, despite the fact that the only thing I'm really good at is Languages and English. Our other friends joined us at lunch time, where of course, we all became extremely hyper, and in true teenage style, ended up twisting each other's words into crude sexual innuendo. I'm not going to repeat some of the things we said. Most of the time, I consider myself to be above that sort of stuff, but it was a good laugh to have, especially when my friend started waving his Tango around without the lid on, and got my other friend covered in the stuff.
After lunch, I had one final struggle through French to survive through. I have to say, I love French, so I'd most probably be described as what a lot of teenagers would say was 'keen'. As in, I'm always putting my hand up, waiting for the difficult question, getting annoyed when somebody says something I want to say, etc. I think I sort of overdid it this lesson, still fired up from the excitement at lunch - a pair of girls opposite me, one of which I used to know at secondary school and don't particularly like due to the fact that she smokes weed and drinks excessively - started bitching about me. I could hear all their wonderful comments, and turned to look at them. One of them was glaring at me. A few seconds passed before I did something which was probably quite irrational, but I don't particularly regret: I crossed my eyes and opened my mouth in a huge wide grin. That ceased the poisonous insults, let me tell you. :P I can't help but laugh a little bit about it. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, right?
One final struggle to the bus stop and then home, and here I am. Lessons from today? Don't throw away somebody's bottle cap for a joke unless you want you and your friend to get completely Tango'ed.
Peace!
Rach
First obstacle of the week: a concerning lack of coffee in the house. I emptied what little granules were left and tried to compensate by using a smaller mug. Didn't work. I was briefly roused by a brisk walk to the bus stop, although the strange warmth and wet weather didn't particularly help, especially as the bus heaters were blazing and the traffic was slow. Seriously. We crawled along at an agonising pace through Monday morning traffic today. I've never seen it that bad before. I suppose the wet weather didn't really help - but seriously.
It started to rain during my first lessons of the day - double Psychology, aka two hours of it. After one hour, I briefly left the classroom with my friend to grab a cappuccino from the common room, which helped me feel a little better. After another hour of learning about Bowlby's evolutionary theory of attachment, it was break time, so I topped up my sugar levels, now feeling a little more ready for the day. My friend and I always have such a great laugh during Psychology, so I approached Pre-U with enthusiasm. Unfortunately, there's very little ways in which Pre-U can be considered to be fun - and by this point, it was tipping it down outside. The sound of the rain pounding the roof above us was a little comforting, but the general murk of the day leaked into the classroom, dampening everybody's moods slightly. This was worsened when we were set an essay on whether we could say that the sporting ethos of the Olympics was fair. Everybody else seemed to have an opinion on this, but as one of those maverick teenagers who avoids anything and everything popular or mainstream, I realised I had no opinion or fact to base my essay off of. So yeah, that was a great essay in the end.
Thankfully after this, I had a free, which I spent with two of my guy friends in the common room. Insert more caffeine here, this time in the place of a diet pepsi, as well as a chicken sandwich from the canteen, seeing as it's about 12:30 by this point. I have to say, I do love these two guy friends in question. One of them is just so easy to talk to it's unbelievable, whereas the other one, like me, loves YouTube and actually makes videos himself. They're both guys who can really keep the conversation going, which is certainly refreshing to see, compared to my old school, where any conversation with any boy went straight to sexsexsexsex. We ended up talking about a whole load of things, including the moment when they tried to give me career advice. After a while, however, we drew the conclusion that I probably shouldn't become a Politican or a Diplomat, despite the fact that the only thing I'm really good at is Languages and English. Our other friends joined us at lunch time, where of course, we all became extremely hyper, and in true teenage style, ended up twisting each other's words into crude sexual innuendo. I'm not going to repeat some of the things we said. Most of the time, I consider myself to be above that sort of stuff, but it was a good laugh to have, especially when my friend started waving his Tango around without the lid on, and got my other friend covered in the stuff.
After lunch, I had one final struggle through French to survive through. I have to say, I love French, so I'd most probably be described as what a lot of teenagers would say was 'keen'. As in, I'm always putting my hand up, waiting for the difficult question, getting annoyed when somebody says something I want to say, etc. I think I sort of overdid it this lesson, still fired up from the excitement at lunch - a pair of girls opposite me, one of which I used to know at secondary school and don't particularly like due to the fact that she smokes weed and drinks excessively - started bitching about me. I could hear all their wonderful comments, and turned to look at them. One of them was glaring at me. A few seconds passed before I did something which was probably quite irrational, but I don't particularly regret: I crossed my eyes and opened my mouth in a huge wide grin. That ceased the poisonous insults, let me tell you. :P I can't help but laugh a little bit about it. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, right?
One final struggle to the bus stop and then home, and here I am. Lessons from today? Don't throw away somebody's bottle cap for a joke unless you want you and your friend to get completely Tango'ed.
Peace!
Rach
Sunday, 23 September 2012
I ran 2 miles!
I'm going to give you guys some advice today. Don't eat craploads of cake and bad carbs and then go for a run. Why?
Because junk food makes you feel like shit. Simple.
I've been running for about two months now - not intensely, just something that helps me think and makes me feel a little less guilty if I've eaten a lot of crap that day. Anyway, I wasn't really looking where I was going until I found myself turning up an incredibly steep hill in the middle of town. I was like, well okay. I don't normally go this way but I'll see how I do up the hill. It was hard work, but I made it, and kept running. Only when I got to the edge of town did I realise that I'd run a whole mile in one direction. Normally I only go half a mile and then stop and turn around, but this time, I'd been so lost in my thoughts that I ran twice my distance. I turned around and headed back home - but as I hit the home straight, a sharp pain suddenly shot through my stomach. I bent over a little and slowed to a walk, and then bam, a strange feeling of mental fuzziness hit me. I started seeing flashing lights and the world started spinning. I think it's because I increased my distance too much - I haven't run since the beginning of September or so. Add that to the fact that I made and then ate a crapload of cake before my workout, and you get one unhappy body! When I made it home, I didn't know what I wanted. I had some water, but it didn't make me feel any better. I took off my hoodie - no help. I went and lay down - made me feel even worse. I started shivering uncontrollably, but it helped when I took my mind off my imminent circumstances. Slowly, I've started feeling better, and now I feel incredibly proud of myself for running so far. I've worked out I could probably have run 3 miles without that steep hill in between - which means that I'm now going to be taking part in some 5K runs in the area. Really looking forward to it!! I think my first one is in mid-October :D
The rest of today was really nice. We went to visit my brother at university, and so far, I'm so impressed at how much he's already matured, having been there only a week. He's made loads of friends, when normally he's the outcast, and spent the last two years at college alone. Already he's been to loads of parties, tried different foods, danced, had alcohol and even has 'Fresher's Flu' - the true sign of a week well spent!! I'm happy for him :') and it makes me feel a little better about him being there, too :)
The weather's been terrible though. We went into town and found a pharmacy so that I could find the right products to get my brother while he's ill and get some strepsils for myself (I feel a cold lingering at the corners of my consciousness), and rain tumbled from the sky in thick torrents. After just 100 metres of walking down the road we were already drenched to the bone, and I've been shivering ever since, despite having the heating on full blast and getting changed into some dry clothes.
I should go. I still have a Lit essay to do for homework, and I promised people that I'd have another chapter of a fanfiction I'm writing on deviantART up by the end of today. Peace out!! :)
Rach
Because junk food makes you feel like shit. Simple.
I've been running for about two months now - not intensely, just something that helps me think and makes me feel a little less guilty if I've eaten a lot of crap that day. Anyway, I wasn't really looking where I was going until I found myself turning up an incredibly steep hill in the middle of town. I was like, well okay. I don't normally go this way but I'll see how I do up the hill. It was hard work, but I made it, and kept running. Only when I got to the edge of town did I realise that I'd run a whole mile in one direction. Normally I only go half a mile and then stop and turn around, but this time, I'd been so lost in my thoughts that I ran twice my distance. I turned around and headed back home - but as I hit the home straight, a sharp pain suddenly shot through my stomach. I bent over a little and slowed to a walk, and then bam, a strange feeling of mental fuzziness hit me. I started seeing flashing lights and the world started spinning. I think it's because I increased my distance too much - I haven't run since the beginning of September or so. Add that to the fact that I made and then ate a crapload of cake before my workout, and you get one unhappy body! When I made it home, I didn't know what I wanted. I had some water, but it didn't make me feel any better. I took off my hoodie - no help. I went and lay down - made me feel even worse. I started shivering uncontrollably, but it helped when I took my mind off my imminent circumstances. Slowly, I've started feeling better, and now I feel incredibly proud of myself for running so far. I've worked out I could probably have run 3 miles without that steep hill in between - which means that I'm now going to be taking part in some 5K runs in the area. Really looking forward to it!! I think my first one is in mid-October :D
The rest of today was really nice. We went to visit my brother at university, and so far, I'm so impressed at how much he's already matured, having been there only a week. He's made loads of friends, when normally he's the outcast, and spent the last two years at college alone. Already he's been to loads of parties, tried different foods, danced, had alcohol and even has 'Fresher's Flu' - the true sign of a week well spent!! I'm happy for him :') and it makes me feel a little better about him being there, too :)
The weather's been terrible though. We went into town and found a pharmacy so that I could find the right products to get my brother while he's ill and get some strepsils for myself (I feel a cold lingering at the corners of my consciousness), and rain tumbled from the sky in thick torrents. After just 100 metres of walking down the road we were already drenched to the bone, and I've been shivering ever since, despite having the heating on full blast and getting changed into some dry clothes.
I should go. I still have a Lit essay to do for homework, and I promised people that I'd have another chapter of a fanfiction I'm writing on deviantART up by the end of today. Peace out!! :)
Rach
Saturday, 22 September 2012
Of drunk workmates and kidnapped rabbits
I had work today. I work in my local pharmacy every Saturday from 9 till 5. At first I hated it - there was so much to remember, and it's not a kind of job where you can afford to make mistakes, from fetching the right prescriptions to giving the right advice and charging the right amount of money for medication - but now, I actually really enjoy it. In a time where my life is brimming with change, from starting a new school to making new friends, it's a breath of familiarity in a very unfamiliar world. I like helping people out too :) it gives me a really satisfied feeling when I figure out what product will be best for a customer, and they give me that wonderful, thankful smile :)
So today I went to work at the usual time. However, when I got there, I noticed that my coworker seemed very tired and unlike herself - it was only a matter of time before I found out that she'd been partying hard last night, and as a result had come to work half drunk, half hung over. This was quite an awkward position to be in. Didn't help that not many people came in so the morning dragged, and also one of our coworkers was away so there was only four of us: two dispensing, two dealing with customers. I thought she was going to go home at one point, but thankfully she stuck it out :D
We also found a secret compartment below the counter that we'd never seen before. When we opened it, we found a toy rabbit lying inside, with a post-it note saying "please rescue me" sitting on top. All my coworkers thought this both slightly disturbing, but overall completely hilarious. We decided to take this joke even further, sticking a piece of paper with a tally chart written on it next to the toy and strapping its arms up to the side. There weren't many customers all day so we had a lot of time to kill haha :P
There was one slightly weird moment though - I was walking back to work after lunch when I saw two butterflies, playing and dancing in midair. They pirhouetted towards the road, and I watched them as I passed, smiling slightly. I love watching animal nature in such a raw, untouched way - it proves love exists, even in the tiniest of creatures. Natural energy is all around us; we just have to know where to look. Anyway, they fluttered into the road, where of course, the inevitable happened. Unfortunately the car knocked both of them out of the air. One of them was able to get up, but the other was on its side, flapping its wings fearfully. The strange instinct to rush into the world and save it gripped me - but unfortunately, fate ran its course and another car went by. I turned away after that. The worst part was watching the other butterfly flutter round its mate until it too realised it was too late.
Since then I've been home alone; my parents are in London somewhere and so I've been left dogsitting. It's been pretty good though - I heated up some leftovers and I'm curled up on the sofa with the dog watching Doctor Who. After this I'm gonna make coffee and either watch the Avengers or maybe do some homework :) I have a Linguistic analysis and then an essay on Tennyson's Lady of Shallot poem for Lit. :)
Going to visit my brother at university tomorrow, should be nice!! :D
Peace!
Rach
So today I went to work at the usual time. However, when I got there, I noticed that my coworker seemed very tired and unlike herself - it was only a matter of time before I found out that she'd been partying hard last night, and as a result had come to work half drunk, half hung over. This was quite an awkward position to be in. Didn't help that not many people came in so the morning dragged, and also one of our coworkers was away so there was only four of us: two dispensing, two dealing with customers. I thought she was going to go home at one point, but thankfully she stuck it out :D
We also found a secret compartment below the counter that we'd never seen before. When we opened it, we found a toy rabbit lying inside, with a post-it note saying "please rescue me" sitting on top. All my coworkers thought this both slightly disturbing, but overall completely hilarious. We decided to take this joke even further, sticking a piece of paper with a tally chart written on it next to the toy and strapping its arms up to the side. There weren't many customers all day so we had a lot of time to kill haha :P
There was one slightly weird moment though - I was walking back to work after lunch when I saw two butterflies, playing and dancing in midair. They pirhouetted towards the road, and I watched them as I passed, smiling slightly. I love watching animal nature in such a raw, untouched way - it proves love exists, even in the tiniest of creatures. Natural energy is all around us; we just have to know where to look. Anyway, they fluttered into the road, where of course, the inevitable happened. Unfortunately the car knocked both of them out of the air. One of them was able to get up, but the other was on its side, flapping its wings fearfully. The strange instinct to rush into the world and save it gripped me - but unfortunately, fate ran its course and another car went by. I turned away after that. The worst part was watching the other butterfly flutter round its mate until it too realised it was too late.
Since then I've been home alone; my parents are in London somewhere and so I've been left dogsitting. It's been pretty good though - I heated up some leftovers and I'm curled up on the sofa with the dog watching Doctor Who. After this I'm gonna make coffee and either watch the Avengers or maybe do some homework :) I have a Linguistic analysis and then an essay on Tennyson's Lady of Shallot poem for Lit. :)
Going to visit my brother at university tomorrow, should be nice!! :D
Peace!
Rach
Friday, 21 September 2012
And thus it begins.
I've been sitting on the idea for starting a blog on my experiences with A levels for a while, although it's only now that I've actually sat down at my computer and logged onto Blogger.
I've done it. I've actually started a Blog.
Well, to be fair, I did blog my experiences of Year 11 for a while last year, but I sort of... forgot... to tell the truth. I also started writing a book at the same time, and there's only so many hours a day one can spend typing away on a computer. This time, however, I vow to keep my promise. As well as all those other promises to do my homework when I say I'm going to, instead of logging onto Tumblr and spending the night wallowing in a pit of feels and everything else. I figured I'd have a go though.
So, I guess we should start with the basics. If you haven't read the large text at the top of this blog, my name is Rach. I'm currently 16 years old, and I'm in Year 12. I started the joy that can be known as A levels approximately two weeks ago, and I'm studying English Literature, English Language, French, Psychology and Cambridge Pre-U: Global Perspectives at my local college. I used to go to a private school, and I absolutely detested everything about it - from the teaching, to the pupils, and especially the work ethic and ethos of the school. For my GCSEs I got 4A*s, 4As and 2Bs in English Literature, English Language, French, Maths, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Music, Drama and History. I got 100% in both Lit and French.
My hobbies include reading, writing, making YouTube videos, meeting up and talking with my friends, playing the guitar (I'm in a rock band with some friends), running, wandering round and exploring places and listening to music.
I'm 50% introverted, 50% extroverted. Which is a total pain. It basically means that I don't really like to be around people much, but I hate being by myself at the same time. But also, it means that I can have fun both by myself and with other people, it just depends on my mood.
I absolutely love the Avengers, Doctor Who, Sherlock and all those other nerdy things I'm sure you're sick to death of if you use Tumblr. I spend most of my time on the internet or playing Xbox with my friends.
I have no idea what I want to be when I'm older: I change my mind every five minutes. Despite the fact that I got pretty good results for GCSE and I'm expected to go to a Russell Group university, I've never been that keen on doing something especially academic. I'm probably going to do either Modern Languages, English, Psychology or Creative Writing at University though.
So yeah, that's just some information about me. The official blogging will start tomorrow, so I hope whoever reads this (if anybody) will stick around and enjoy my other entries!!
Rach
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