Hello again everybody!
It's been another few weeks since I've last written - I've literally been so busy with A levels I don't even know where to begin! However, I am making great progress with guyImetatparty! He's been having a lot of difficulties with trust but last Friday he had a dream about me - and I'm the first person he's let into his dreams for months. He also called me special 'n stuff, which was amazing and really touched me :') I proceeded to fall over backwards and stare at my ceiling, making a very strange noise. I'm glad I'm persevering with him. I genuinely want to help him, and it feels like maybe, just maybe, I might be doing that, plus I like him a lot. We haven't met up in almost 9 weeks, granted, but I'm sure we'll find the time again soon.
My insomnia is still here, but I don't really see a problem with it to be honest. I don't feel like I need the sleep during the week, and I have Tues + Wed afternoons off so I can sleep then if I want to - plus I often sleep for like 12 hours at the weekend so I'm not complaining :P And I get to have really good conversations with guyImetatparty at the same time :) Sometimes I worry if I'm being annoying. I'm really, really good at convincing myself that nobody likes me xD but I'm hoping he'll say something if I get too annoying.
I've been relapsing with depression a little bit too. Nothing major - just stress about A levels. I've been writing essays and doing coursework in every single one of my subjects! And one of my friends, who I walk to college with every day, may have to retake her first year already and it's only February, which is somewhat terrifying. The teachers are telling us to start revising now, when I don't really see the point to be honest. We have a whole five months until our exams, and if I start now I know I'll be bored rigid by the time I get to May and June. I'll probably start to do something after half term though :) not serious revision, but juts recapping and finding a place for it in my head.My memory problems are worsening which doesn't help, but I blame the depression/lack of sleep/stress about college more than anything. But yesterday, I felt like I was waking up a little for the first time in terms of depression. I've been kind of closing myself off from everyone in the last few weeks, but yesterday I felt a little more open than I have before. So I have hope :)
We have 2 weeks 'till half term. Already started to make plans for our jaunts which is nice. It seems like I'll be spending most of it in a seaside town nearby, which I can't complain about because I love it there.
Anyway, I'm going to go and start looking at universities as my friends are already applying and booking open days!! Aaah!
Showing posts with label english literature. college. Show all posts
Showing posts with label english literature. college. Show all posts
Sunday, 3 February 2013
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
Four shots of caffeine later...
There's only one way I can really describe today: wet. The rain seemed to follow me right from my front doorstep all the way to college and then back again - although on the bright side I did see about three rainbows which was pretty cool :P the worst thing was, was that I was wearing denim jeans and shoes that weren't waterproof, nor did I have an umbrella. Which meant that I spent most of today walking around with goosebumps permanently embedded into my skin. It was an interesting day though.
I only have two lessons on Tuesdays: French and English Literature. French was the same as it usually is, although I reached the conclusion that I'm going to have to drop Pre-U because I can't actually fit French oral practice onto my timetable :/ I mean, I have frees, but not enough to fit in with the teacher's timetable and everybody else's. I'm not particularly bothered though - Pre-U is a muddle of essays, presentations and discussions about affairs that, although I know are important, aren't something that particularly interests me, or my life revolves around. It more seems to be centered towards those who are going for a degree at either Oxbridge or in a humanities-based subject such as Politics, Economics, Law, et cetera. This also means that I wouldn't have to get up early on a Friday morning, I'd get to go home earlier on Wednesdays, and I'd also have a double free on Monday, which is nice :) also it means I'll get to keep my job without getting worried about not keeping up with schoolwork. It's not official yet though - I have to go and argue my case on Friday. Should be okay though.
So after an hour of French and frustration about my timetable, I had English Lit, where we tore apart Orsino's first speech in Twelfth Night: 'If music be the food of love, play on.' I have to say, I absolutely love Shakespeare, and got really into it. The teacher seemed really impressed with me as well :D afterwards, I met up with my friends in the canteen and we had lunch, and after that, my friend and I battled our way through the rain to get home. Thankfully, my friend had actually taken an umbrella to school, so we remained mostly dry for half the time. Whilst under the safety of an artifical canopy, it's easy to laugh at those around us who aren't so fortunate - although I'll probably be in the same predicament tomorrow as I was this morning, as I don't think I actually own an umbrella.
I then proceeded to spend an hour in Starbucks with one of my old school friend's boyfriends. Sounds a lot more 'cheeky' than it actually was - I don't really know him that well, so we spent the hour actually learning some things about each other, i.e. what A levels we are doing. Also, I'm completely socially awkward around most boys so there was no way in heck anything could have happened between us, even if I'd tried. It didn't help that my frappucino kept leaking everywhere, too, so I ended up even colder and now stickier than I had been before. I finally met my friend, and we walked into town before it started raining again. We then proceeded to spend the next hour in Waterstones, Boots and then Cafe Nero, where I had yet more caffeine. Add that to my frappucino and the two pepsi max cans I had earlier at college and, well, that's a lot of caffeine. Although to be fair I was exhausted; Monday is pretty much a full day of lessons, and I had a pretty eventful dream at an airport during the night so :P after a while I caught the bus home, and by this point it was freezing cold and getting dark so my Mum very graciously picked me up from the bus stop :)
That concludes my day. Since then I've been doing some extra study and now I'm going to start reading the 1,000 page long complete works of Sherlock Holmes because I'm just that boring.
Peace!
Rach
I only have two lessons on Tuesdays: French and English Literature. French was the same as it usually is, although I reached the conclusion that I'm going to have to drop Pre-U because I can't actually fit French oral practice onto my timetable :/ I mean, I have frees, but not enough to fit in with the teacher's timetable and everybody else's. I'm not particularly bothered though - Pre-U is a muddle of essays, presentations and discussions about affairs that, although I know are important, aren't something that particularly interests me, or my life revolves around. It more seems to be centered towards those who are going for a degree at either Oxbridge or in a humanities-based subject such as Politics, Economics, Law, et cetera. This also means that I wouldn't have to get up early on a Friday morning, I'd get to go home earlier on Wednesdays, and I'd also have a double free on Monday, which is nice :) also it means I'll get to keep my job without getting worried about not keeping up with schoolwork. It's not official yet though - I have to go and argue my case on Friday. Should be okay though.
So after an hour of French and frustration about my timetable, I had English Lit, where we tore apart Orsino's first speech in Twelfth Night: 'If music be the food of love, play on.' I have to say, I absolutely love Shakespeare, and got really into it. The teacher seemed really impressed with me as well :D afterwards, I met up with my friends in the canteen and we had lunch, and after that, my friend and I battled our way through the rain to get home. Thankfully, my friend had actually taken an umbrella to school, so we remained mostly dry for half the time. Whilst under the safety of an artifical canopy, it's easy to laugh at those around us who aren't so fortunate - although I'll probably be in the same predicament tomorrow as I was this morning, as I don't think I actually own an umbrella.
I then proceeded to spend an hour in Starbucks with one of my old school friend's boyfriends. Sounds a lot more 'cheeky' than it actually was - I don't really know him that well, so we spent the hour actually learning some things about each other, i.e. what A levels we are doing. Also, I'm completely socially awkward around most boys so there was no way in heck anything could have happened between us, even if I'd tried. It didn't help that my frappucino kept leaking everywhere, too, so I ended up even colder and now stickier than I had been before. I finally met my friend, and we walked into town before it started raining again. We then proceeded to spend the next hour in Waterstones, Boots and then Cafe Nero, where I had yet more caffeine. Add that to my frappucino and the two pepsi max cans I had earlier at college and, well, that's a lot of caffeine. Although to be fair I was exhausted; Monday is pretty much a full day of lessons, and I had a pretty eventful dream at an airport during the night so :P after a while I caught the bus home, and by this point it was freezing cold and getting dark so my Mum very graciously picked me up from the bus stop :)
That concludes my day. Since then I've been doing some extra study and now I'm going to start reading the 1,000 page long complete works of Sherlock Holmes because I'm just that boring.
Peace!
Rach
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