Hello again everybody!
It's been another few weeks since I've last written - I've literally been so busy with A levels I don't even know where to begin! However, I am making great progress with guyImetatparty! He's been having a lot of difficulties with trust but last Friday he had a dream about me - and I'm the first person he's let into his dreams for months. He also called me special 'n stuff, which was amazing and really touched me :') I proceeded to fall over backwards and stare at my ceiling, making a very strange noise. I'm glad I'm persevering with him. I genuinely want to help him, and it feels like maybe, just maybe, I might be doing that, plus I like him a lot. We haven't met up in almost 9 weeks, granted, but I'm sure we'll find the time again soon.
My insomnia is still here, but I don't really see a problem with it to be honest. I don't feel like I need the sleep during the week, and I have Tues + Wed afternoons off so I can sleep then if I want to - plus I often sleep for like 12 hours at the weekend so I'm not complaining :P And I get to have really good conversations with guyImetatparty at the same time :) Sometimes I worry if I'm being annoying. I'm really, really good at convincing myself that nobody likes me xD but I'm hoping he'll say something if I get too annoying.
I've been relapsing with depression a little bit too. Nothing major - just stress about A levels. I've been writing essays and doing coursework in every single one of my subjects! And one of my friends, who I walk to college with every day, may have to retake her first year already and it's only February, which is somewhat terrifying. The teachers are telling us to start revising now, when I don't really see the point to be honest. We have a whole five months until our exams, and if I start now I know I'll be bored rigid by the time I get to May and June. I'll probably start to do something after half term though :) not serious revision, but juts recapping and finding a place for it in my head.My memory problems are worsening which doesn't help, but I blame the depression/lack of sleep/stress about college more than anything. But yesterday, I felt like I was waking up a little for the first time in terms of depression. I've been kind of closing myself off from everyone in the last few weeks, but yesterday I felt a little more open than I have before. So I have hope :)
We have 2 weeks 'till half term. Already started to make plans for our jaunts which is nice. It seems like I'll be spending most of it in a seaside town nearby, which I can't complain about because I love it there.
Anyway, I'm going to go and start looking at universities as my friends are already applying and booking open days!! Aaah!
Showing posts with label university. Show all posts
Showing posts with label university. Show all posts
Sunday, 3 February 2013
Sunday, 23 September 2012
I ran 2 miles!
I'm going to give you guys some advice today. Don't eat craploads of cake and bad carbs and then go for a run. Why?
Because junk food makes you feel like shit. Simple.
I've been running for about two months now - not intensely, just something that helps me think and makes me feel a little less guilty if I've eaten a lot of crap that day. Anyway, I wasn't really looking where I was going until I found myself turning up an incredibly steep hill in the middle of town. I was like, well okay. I don't normally go this way but I'll see how I do up the hill. It was hard work, but I made it, and kept running. Only when I got to the edge of town did I realise that I'd run a whole mile in one direction. Normally I only go half a mile and then stop and turn around, but this time, I'd been so lost in my thoughts that I ran twice my distance. I turned around and headed back home - but as I hit the home straight, a sharp pain suddenly shot through my stomach. I bent over a little and slowed to a walk, and then bam, a strange feeling of mental fuzziness hit me. I started seeing flashing lights and the world started spinning. I think it's because I increased my distance too much - I haven't run since the beginning of September or so. Add that to the fact that I made and then ate a crapload of cake before my workout, and you get one unhappy body! When I made it home, I didn't know what I wanted. I had some water, but it didn't make me feel any better. I took off my hoodie - no help. I went and lay down - made me feel even worse. I started shivering uncontrollably, but it helped when I took my mind off my imminent circumstances. Slowly, I've started feeling better, and now I feel incredibly proud of myself for running so far. I've worked out I could probably have run 3 miles without that steep hill in between - which means that I'm now going to be taking part in some 5K runs in the area. Really looking forward to it!! I think my first one is in mid-October :D
The rest of today was really nice. We went to visit my brother at university, and so far, I'm so impressed at how much he's already matured, having been there only a week. He's made loads of friends, when normally he's the outcast, and spent the last two years at college alone. Already he's been to loads of parties, tried different foods, danced, had alcohol and even has 'Fresher's Flu' - the true sign of a week well spent!! I'm happy for him :') and it makes me feel a little better about him being there, too :)
The weather's been terrible though. We went into town and found a pharmacy so that I could find the right products to get my brother while he's ill and get some strepsils for myself (I feel a cold lingering at the corners of my consciousness), and rain tumbled from the sky in thick torrents. After just 100 metres of walking down the road we were already drenched to the bone, and I've been shivering ever since, despite having the heating on full blast and getting changed into some dry clothes.
I should go. I still have a Lit essay to do for homework, and I promised people that I'd have another chapter of a fanfiction I'm writing on deviantART up by the end of today. Peace out!! :)
Rach
Because junk food makes you feel like shit. Simple.
I've been running for about two months now - not intensely, just something that helps me think and makes me feel a little less guilty if I've eaten a lot of crap that day. Anyway, I wasn't really looking where I was going until I found myself turning up an incredibly steep hill in the middle of town. I was like, well okay. I don't normally go this way but I'll see how I do up the hill. It was hard work, but I made it, and kept running. Only when I got to the edge of town did I realise that I'd run a whole mile in one direction. Normally I only go half a mile and then stop and turn around, but this time, I'd been so lost in my thoughts that I ran twice my distance. I turned around and headed back home - but as I hit the home straight, a sharp pain suddenly shot through my stomach. I bent over a little and slowed to a walk, and then bam, a strange feeling of mental fuzziness hit me. I started seeing flashing lights and the world started spinning. I think it's because I increased my distance too much - I haven't run since the beginning of September or so. Add that to the fact that I made and then ate a crapload of cake before my workout, and you get one unhappy body! When I made it home, I didn't know what I wanted. I had some water, but it didn't make me feel any better. I took off my hoodie - no help. I went and lay down - made me feel even worse. I started shivering uncontrollably, but it helped when I took my mind off my imminent circumstances. Slowly, I've started feeling better, and now I feel incredibly proud of myself for running so far. I've worked out I could probably have run 3 miles without that steep hill in between - which means that I'm now going to be taking part in some 5K runs in the area. Really looking forward to it!! I think my first one is in mid-October :D
The rest of today was really nice. We went to visit my brother at university, and so far, I'm so impressed at how much he's already matured, having been there only a week. He's made loads of friends, when normally he's the outcast, and spent the last two years at college alone. Already he's been to loads of parties, tried different foods, danced, had alcohol and even has 'Fresher's Flu' - the true sign of a week well spent!! I'm happy for him :') and it makes me feel a little better about him being there, too :)
The weather's been terrible though. We went into town and found a pharmacy so that I could find the right products to get my brother while he's ill and get some strepsils for myself (I feel a cold lingering at the corners of my consciousness), and rain tumbled from the sky in thick torrents. After just 100 metres of walking down the road we were already drenched to the bone, and I've been shivering ever since, despite having the heating on full blast and getting changed into some dry clothes.
I should go. I still have a Lit essay to do for homework, and I promised people that I'd have another chapter of a fanfiction I'm writing on deviantART up by the end of today. Peace out!! :)
Rach
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