Hello again everybody!
It's been another few weeks since I've last written - I've literally been so busy with A levels I don't even know where to begin! However, I am making great progress with guyImetatparty! He's been having a lot of difficulties with trust but last Friday he had a dream about me - and I'm the first person he's let into his dreams for months. He also called me special 'n stuff, which was amazing and really touched me :') I proceeded to fall over backwards and stare at my ceiling, making a very strange noise. I'm glad I'm persevering with him. I genuinely want to help him, and it feels like maybe, just maybe, I might be doing that, plus I like him a lot. We haven't met up in almost 9 weeks, granted, but I'm sure we'll find the time again soon.
My insomnia is still here, but I don't really see a problem with it to be honest. I don't feel like I need the sleep during the week, and I have Tues + Wed afternoons off so I can sleep then if I want to - plus I often sleep for like 12 hours at the weekend so I'm not complaining :P And I get to have really good conversations with guyImetatparty at the same time :) Sometimes I worry if I'm being annoying. I'm really, really good at convincing myself that nobody likes me xD but I'm hoping he'll say something if I get too annoying.
I've been relapsing with depression a little bit too. Nothing major - just stress about A levels. I've been writing essays and doing coursework in every single one of my subjects! And one of my friends, who I walk to college with every day, may have to retake her first year already and it's only February, which is somewhat terrifying. The teachers are telling us to start revising now, when I don't really see the point to be honest. We have a whole five months until our exams, and if I start now I know I'll be bored rigid by the time I get to May and June. I'll probably start to do something after half term though :) not serious revision, but juts recapping and finding a place for it in my head.My memory problems are worsening which doesn't help, but I blame the depression/lack of sleep/stress about college more than anything. But yesterday, I felt like I was waking up a little for the first time in terms of depression. I've been kind of closing myself off from everyone in the last few weeks, but yesterday I felt a little more open than I have before. So I have hope :)
We have 2 weeks 'till half term. Already started to make plans for our jaunts which is nice. It seems like I'll be spending most of it in a seaside town nearby, which I can't complain about because I love it there.
Anyway, I'm going to go and start looking at universities as my friends are already applying and booking open days!! Aaah!
Showing posts with label Boys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Boys. Show all posts
Sunday, 3 February 2013
Wednesday, 7 September 2011
In which I get thoroughly confused about boys in general.
Started school today, I am now officially a Year 11! o__________________________o
The day begun with a whole crowd of us meeting outside the carpark and then finding our form and locker rooms to dump our bags in. We then hung around until our teacher appeared and gave us our timetables and homework diaries and things and then filled in homework timetables and collected locker keys, et cetera. I had all my textbooks and stuff in my bag, so it was definitely a relief to ditch them all somewhere. I actually found a note inside my locker, which read: 'Look after my locker, he's a good one :)' It did make me smile. I've decided I'm going to keep it in there and leave it when we clear them out next May. The next year 11 to use it will hopefully get a pleasant surprise!
First lesson of the year was Maths where we were constructing pie charts, something I've never actually done before o_0 it wasn't too difficult though which was definitely a good thing. We had a D of E meeting at lunch (our bronze expedition is in just a few weeks' time, asdf) where we organised our groups and stuff. After that I had Music, which is and always has been a laugh, and after that PE, which wasn't so great but was still fun. As someone who doesn't require pre-season hockey or netball training in order to try and make it onto the team our teacher told us to go into the mini-gym we had and do something there. Unfortunately quite a lot of us ended up in there so my friends and I didn't really do much.. Eventually we were given skipping ropes to go outside with which was definitely fun :) after that, it was the end of school, and our first day of Year 11 was officially over!
The reason for the title of this blog post is because I find myself in a pretty unfortunate predicament, one that will ring clear for many girls of my age. There's a guy who likes me. He likes me very much. We first got close about a year ago, after a hilarious and embarrassing on my part conversation about me being allergic to things and then suddenly not being allergic to them. It actually makes me go red just thinking about it! Anyway, he asked me out in, what, mid-June of last year? I said no because one, I wasn't expecting it and that was the reflex reaction - and two because (and here comes the difficult part) I like somebody else. Scratch that, I'm in love with someone else. I've loved him for two years now, and there's no sign of me getting over that any time soon. Does he like me? It's hard to tell? I have a feeling an ex-best friend has told him in order to spite me, and he acts quite cold when I try to strike up a conversation with him. However he often stares at me, and I caught him doing so quite a lot in PE today. Also when I walked past the guy who likes me he like flipped his hair and blushed when he saw me :L this is not good. I said no to him. That should be the end of it, shouldn't it? And why does this other guy keep staring at me when he acts cold when I talk to him? *Headdesk* Boys. They're so confusing. They can't decide what they want and when it's time to quit. I'm tired of it all already and it's only my first day!
Anyway, enough of that. Sorry if I sounded obnoxious up there, I was trying to word that in the best way possible. I probably won't blog every day but I'll do so about once or twice a week, depending on if anything happens or not ^^ so peace out for now!
The day begun with a whole crowd of us meeting outside the carpark and then finding our form and locker rooms to dump our bags in. We then hung around until our teacher appeared and gave us our timetables and homework diaries and things and then filled in homework timetables and collected locker keys, et cetera. I had all my textbooks and stuff in my bag, so it was definitely a relief to ditch them all somewhere. I actually found a note inside my locker, which read: 'Look after my locker, he's a good one :)' It did make me smile. I've decided I'm going to keep it in there and leave it when we clear them out next May. The next year 11 to use it will hopefully get a pleasant surprise!
First lesson of the year was Maths where we were constructing pie charts, something I've never actually done before o_0 it wasn't too difficult though which was definitely a good thing. We had a D of E meeting at lunch (our bronze expedition is in just a few weeks' time, asdf) where we organised our groups and stuff. After that I had Music, which is and always has been a laugh, and after that PE, which wasn't so great but was still fun. As someone who doesn't require pre-season hockey or netball training in order to try and make it onto the team our teacher told us to go into the mini-gym we had and do something there. Unfortunately quite a lot of us ended up in there so my friends and I didn't really do much.. Eventually we were given skipping ropes to go outside with which was definitely fun :) after that, it was the end of school, and our first day of Year 11 was officially over!
The reason for the title of this blog post is because I find myself in a pretty unfortunate predicament, one that will ring clear for many girls of my age. There's a guy who likes me. He likes me very much. We first got close about a year ago, after a hilarious and embarrassing on my part conversation about me being allergic to things and then suddenly not being allergic to them. It actually makes me go red just thinking about it! Anyway, he asked me out in, what, mid-June of last year? I said no because one, I wasn't expecting it and that was the reflex reaction - and two because (and here comes the difficult part) I like somebody else. Scratch that, I'm in love with someone else. I've loved him for two years now, and there's no sign of me getting over that any time soon. Does he like me? It's hard to tell? I have a feeling an ex-best friend has told him in order to spite me, and he acts quite cold when I try to strike up a conversation with him. However he often stares at me, and I caught him doing so quite a lot in PE today. Also when I walked past the guy who likes me he like flipped his hair and blushed when he saw me :L this is not good. I said no to him. That should be the end of it, shouldn't it? And why does this other guy keep staring at me when he acts cold when I talk to him? *Headdesk* Boys. They're so confusing. They can't decide what they want and when it's time to quit. I'm tired of it all already and it's only my first day!
Anyway, enough of that. Sorry if I sounded obnoxious up there, I was trying to word that in the best way possible. I probably won't blog every day but I'll do so about once or twice a week, depending on if anything happens or not ^^ so peace out for now!
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