We're halfway through the Easter holidays, and I think I'm probably having way to much fun to even stand a chance at getting sufficient revision done. I'm only doing 2-3 hours a day and I'm really worried it's not enough, but I physically cannot do more. Every time I try and do any more than 3 hours, my brain starts feeling like it's been stuffed full and any attempt to learn any other blasted aspect of narrative or English language term or french word, let alone Psychology. I can't tell if I'm being paranoid like I often am or I genuinely am not working hard enough.
I don't really know what I've been doing with my time. It's just been those awful days when I'm stuck at home in the house doing work and it's cold and I can't motivate myself and the internet is dead and I get bored and I overeat, but it's okay to do that once a week (i.e. on Sundays) but now I'm doing it every day and I'm starting to feel fat and useless and overly anxious about A levels. I want to do well. But I'm so scared that I won't - especially when people expect me to.
I swear I will try and write something happy to talk about on this blog. I fucking hate it how it's just become a place for me to moan about my life. I think I'm just so fucking tired of this system that we circulate round and round in where every year is just homework and homework and homework and then suddenly BOOM exams and revision and panic and flurry and then the real exams and then you get the long summer of waiting, waiting for results and then you get your exam results and then you go back the next year and do exactly the fucking same thing over again. I'm bored of it. But I need to not be bored of it to actually get anywhere in life. Ugh.
Okay time to stop procrastinating. I'm going to start re-reading the Kite Runner tonight. God help me.
Nemo
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